New Longford community baby memorial garden to be a place of comfort

A new community baby memorial garden, called the Feather Garden, will be officially opened on Saturday, September 5 in Ballinalee, providing a place of comfort for parents and family members who have lost a baby.

Imelda Kilmurray, who is a bereaved mother, explained what the garden, which is located behind the playground, will be.

“It’s just a little place to come and reflect and just sit with your thoughts and remember babies that have been lost through baby loss. I’m a bereaved mother myself, so I know what it’s like. It’s just somewhere nice to just sit rather than a graveside or somewhere like that,” she said.

A local Wave of Light event is hosted every year on the International Baby Loss Awareness Day, which takes place this year on October 15.

It has previously been hosted in the War Memorial Garden, but this year, Imelda says it will be in “our own little garden”.

The community baby garden will provide a place for people to visit at a time that suits them.

“There are a lot of people that wouldn’t have anywhere to go. Like I have a grave to visit my baby at, but some people don’t have that or it might be far away or something like that. So it’s really somewhere that we can all gather,” Imelda explained.

“Everybody has their own birthday to remember or Christmas time that they might want to just come and just sit down and just remember their little baby. And if you lost a baby, maybe half-term or something like that, you wouldn’t have a grave or somewhere to go,” Imelda said.

“If it was an early baby loss, you wouldn’t have a grave, you wouldn’t have somewhere like that to go. But this is not a grave, it’s a nice area, there’s flowers, there’s a little bench to sit at… So you can go and maybe have slightly happy memories. It’s part of the new community area here, there is a nice walkway here as well,” Imelda outlined. “It’s child-friendly, you can bring your family, you can come and sit and have a picnic in the area.

Our section doesn’t have a picnic bench, it just has a normal sitting bench in it, but it’s all part of the one area. When you’re here, your children can come and enjoy the area as well,” Imelda added.

The idea for the garden in Longford was inspired by a butterfly garden in Swinford in county Mayo. “I went down to visit it and it’s absolutely fabulous, it has a little walkway as well,” she said.

“Ours is on a smaller scale, but it’s the same idea,” Imelda added. “I think it’s nice to come somewhere on their birthday or something and just say ‘this is for you, this is your little garden’…. I’m sure it’s a comfort for the parents as well. I think it’ll be a comfort for everybody,” Imelda said.

Every bereaved parent has their own specific days that they need to remember, Imelda explained. She said it can be what would have been the first day at school for their lost baby or the day they would have been starting college.

“There are all these little timelines that people need to mark, I suppose, so they can just come out here and just sit for half an hour or whatever they want. It gives you somewhere tangible to mark it, because all you can kind of do is maybe mark it in your mind or something but this gives you somewhere that you can physically go to. And nobody’s going to ask any questions while you’re here, because it’s not just for bereaved parents, anybody can enjoy the space.”

The garden is almost ready to be opened with the final touches being put in place in recent days and weeks.

Flowers were being planted in the lead up to the opening. Imelda thanked all those that helped with the project, particularly “the brave parents that helped me along the way, and came up with ideas for this and ideas for that, so I wasn’t alone, and they’ve all helped out in their own little way, and I’m so grateful for them as well”.

While there was no official committee, Imelda says Deputy Micheál Carrigy in Ballinalee has “done an awful lot of the work for us, he’s done all the paperwork, all the background stuff”.

The group didn’t form a committee, Imelda says they “just gathered as a group of brave parents, just to put ideas together” with Deputy Carrigy then putting it all together. “It wouldn’t have happened without him,” she said.

The official opening takes place at 2pm on Saturday, September 5 with guest speakers, music, children’s activities and a memorial walk on the day.